Post 4: Our Haunted House – A Throuple’s Spooky Experience

A photo from our 2012 Halloween party.

When a Friend Votes Against Their Own Community – Where Do You Draw the Line?

We didn’t receive any questions last week, so we figured we’d start this blog with a tough subject—one we really need your feedback on.

How do you keep a friendship going with someone who is LGBTQ+ but voted against their own community?

We’ve all heard the classic “Don’t let politics get in the way of friendships or family,” but when politics directly affect your rights, safety, and livelihood, it’s not just politics—it’s personal.

When the business we’ve built together for 13 years is being affected, when the rights we’ve fought for are slowly being stripped away, and when the world feels increasingly hostile toward our community, how do we just 'look the other way'? The emboldened hate right now is "real", and we see it everywhere—on social media, in messages we receive, and sometimes even in person.

And when we’ve tried to explain this to certain people, the response? “Well, OATF had a great run, you should be proud.”

Excuse me… WTF? That’s the takeaway? That instead of fighting to keep progress moving forward, we should just accept defeat and pat ourselves on the back? So you’re telling us it’s "fine" that this affects our community and our "income", and you don’t care? How is that "not" a dealbreaker in a friendship?

Do they just not see how much this will impact their lives too? Or do they just not care?

It’s 'easier' to forgive (but never forget) when it comes to family or straight friends because they live completely different lives from us. Expecting them to fully understand what it means to be LGBTQ+ in today’s climate sometimes feels like wasted energy. They move through the world with privileges they don’t even recognize. But when it’s someone who is part of this community? Someone who should know better? That’s what makes it sting even more.

So here’s our question: Have you had to deal with this? If so, how are you handling it? We’d really love to hear your thoughts—drop a comment below or send us a message.

And now… on to a more fun topic: our haunted pad. 👻

Introduction: A Throuple’s Spooky Experience

In 2017, we decided it was time to buy a home after realizing that renting a place big enough for us was getting too expensive. After touring several homes across northern San Diego County, we found a house built in 1968 that checked all the boxes. Our goal was to find a “Grandma’s house” that just needed some updates, and this one fit the bill perfectly.

Then our realtor dropped a bombshell: “Just so you know, the previous owners passed away in the home.”

We asked, “Wait… 'both' of them?”

She confirmed, “Yep, both passed peacefully in their sleep, from what I was told.”

We looked at each other wide-eyed, but the house didn’t 'feel' creepy or carry any negative energy—so we went for it. At least, that’s what we 'thought' at the time…

Looking back, I guess it looks creepy inside and kind of dark but I think black cat should have given something away! Ask us about the Black Cat for another blog.

The First Signs:

At first, everything seemed normal. We got to work immediately, painting every room, ceiling, and surface because the house was 'filthy'. What we thought were old sliding glass doors turned out to be 'coated' in nicotine from years of smoking indoors.

While we were renovating, Caleb’s brother, Ike, mentioned that he kept seeing a dark shadow and feeling strange energy in the house. We brushed it off. At that time, all three of us were basically having a giant sleepover in the living room while our bedrooms were under construction. Occasionally, we’d feel an odd presence from the back of the house, but we ignored it.

Then, a few weeks after moving in, we left for a trip to New York City. While we were gone, Ike—who was house-sitting—kept texting us things like, “I swear I’m not alone in this house.” We laughed it off. That is, until we came home…

One of many ghost orb photos from Daniel's room.

The Night Everything Changed:

By the time we got back from NYC, the bedrooms were finally ready—well, 'almost' (we still didn’t have doors yet). A burst water pipe before closing had meant all three rooms got brand-new flooring, so we were excited to move in.

That night, as we moved our furniture, Will’s DJ bag—filled with at least 15 pounds of equipment—suddenly flew off a chair. At first, he shrugged it off, thinking maybe it had just been positioned weirdly.

Later that night, around 10 p.m., we were all excited to sleep in our new rooms. But what happened next made sure that wouldn’t happen.

Will went to grab a glass of water before bed, and as he turned the corner into the kitchen, he stopped 'dead' in his tracks. A massive, dark figure stood in the kitchen. An overwhelming sense of sadness washed over him, covering his entire body in goosebumps. His eyes welled up with tears—it was like he could physically 'feel' the sorrow radiating from this presence.

He ran straight to Caleb, shaking and trying to explain what had just happened. While they were talking, Ike—completely unaware of the encounter—walked into the kitchen.

Suddenly, we heard a 'bloodcurdling scream'.

Ike sprinted down the hallway yelling, “We are NOT alone! There is someone in the kitchen!!!”

Daniel, already in bed, thought we were being ridiculous. Will tried to go back to the kitchen, but halfway down the hallway, it felt like something was 'pushing' him backward. His body went ice cold, and tears streamed down his face uncontrollably.

We turned on every single light in the house that night—and we left them on. Even still, we could 'feel' them watching us from the bedroom doorway.

A Neighbor’s Chilling Message:

The next morning, our neighbor, Tilly—who we had never met before—showed up at our door.

She hesitated before saying, “I know you don’t really know me, but I had a dream about the old owners last night. They told me they were trapped here and needed my help.”

If the events of the night before hadn’t happened, we probably would have laughed it off. Instead, we let her smudge the house with sage, and after that, things felt 'different'. The angry, heavy energy lifted, and we never had an experience 'that' intense again.

They’re Still Here…

It's been over seven years since we moved into this house, and if there's one thing we’ve learned, it’s that the creepy moments are far from over. No matter how many renovations we’ve done or projects we’ve completed, the eerie presence still lingers. It’s like they’re always watching us, waiting for the next thing to happen.

Every time we change something around here—whether it's a new coat of paint, rearranging furniture, or just doing some routine cleaning—you can feel their eyes on you. And then, almost on cue, things start to mysteriously fall off shelves or tables. No explanation, just the sound of something tumbling down when no one’s near it. It’s become almost a regular occurrence.

We’ve scrubbed every corner of this place, probably added six coats of paint to the walls, but still, there are moments when the house gives us a reminder that we’re not the only ones living here. There are times, especially in the hallway, kitchen, or entryway, when we walk in and catch the distinct smell of smoke in the air. It’s not just any smoke—it's the kind that feels like it’s coming from someone who used to live here long before us. It’s strange, almost comforting in a way, but still a bit unsettling.

Then there’s the most recent experience that really got under my skin. I was in the shower, just going through my usual routine, when something odd happened. The mirror I used to shave my head started to swing. There was no breeze, no reason for it to move, but it kept swinging back and forth, perfectly timed with my shower. It didn’t stop. Not even for the full duration of the shower. It continued swinging for about an hour afterward. I stood there, goosebumps crawling up my arms, wondering if this was some sort of message—or just a reminder that they were still here.

From May 2024

Who’s Haunting Us?

The previous owners bought this house new in 1968 and lived here until they passed in the mid-2010s. The woman, in particular, was known to be 'extremely' racist and bigoted—which, honestly, explains why she’s 'so thrilled' that three gay guys turned her house into a rad little modern pad.

Their spirits seem to be most active at certain times of the year, which we suspect might be the anniversary of their deaths—but after digging through records, we haven’t been able to find the exact dates.

Living with Ghosts:

Luckily, the haunting hasn’t affected our relationship—aside from scaring the hell out of Caleb from time to time. He jumps at every shadow or unexplained noise, while the rest of us have pretty much embraced our ghostly roommates.

At this point, it’s become a joke. Anytime something weird happens, one of us yells, “Damn you, Caroline, leave us alone!”

Now, her karma is to be stuck here forever with three gay best friends.

One of many orbs by our front door that happens all the time.

Have You Had a Ghostly Experience?

We’ve fully embraced our haunted house, but we want to know—have you ever lived somewhere with ghostly activity?

Will actually grew up with a ghost in his parents’ house, so this isn’t new to him.

Tell us your spooky stories in the comments! We’d love to hear them.

Life Lately: Gardens, Guests & (Maybe) More Chickens?

Post-fair recovery took a week—and that’s how we officially know age is catching up with us. 😂 But after finally catching up on sleep, we jumped straight into garden mode because the weather has been fantastic—sunny and in the low 80s.

Last year, we went big and replaced three garden beds while expanding our corn area. This year? It was time to tackle our pumpkin bed, pepper patch, and flower area because the old wood finally gave out. We swapped everything over to Vego beds, which have a 20-year lifespan—so basically, by the time they need replacing, we better be living in Hawaii!🌴

Beyond garden life, we’ve been wrapping up some house projects and doing a little refresh before Will’s sister and nephew come down for Spring Break. Nothing like incoming guests to make you suddenly notice all the projects you’ve been putting off! We also took some time to go through our closet and donate a bunch of stuff we haven’t worn in forever. (Why do we still own shirts from 10 years ago?!) Spring cleaning mode has been in full effect.

But in the middle of all this, we’ve been dealing with something much heavier.

Since Friday, Feb 21, 2025, Will has been caught in the storm of backlash from our OATF - AK location in Fairbanks. It’s wild how people fail to read event details and make drama out of nothing. We’ve always prided ourselves on hosting family-friendly programming, and that includes our Glam Show. Knowing there might be pushback, Will and the fair worked together to make the event 18+, an extra ticketed experience, and separated from the general public. But of course, that still didn’t stop the super-conservatives from blowing up the internet in Alaska and making it go viral.

Even with an overwhelming amount of support from the local LGBTQ+ community, the pressure and negativity toward the fair won. We lost our AK location, but the hateful comments kept rolling in. It got to the point where we were receiving missed calls at 7:15 AM for more information from AK news outlets. With the help of another fair partner, we put out a press release to set the record straight—why we do what we do, why it’s important, and why Alaska needs this space now more than ever.

To say that dealing with all this hate and ignorance has been exhausting is an understatement. We’ve seen Will completely drained—face down on his office desk, on the verge of tears. Walking around the house like a zombie, forgetting even the simplest things. He’s carrying all the weight of this as the only full-time OutAt employee, trying to handle the backlash while still pushing forward with a positive spin. All Caleb and I can do is support him, remind him how proud we are, and reinforce that someone needs to take a stand in a world that feels more hateful by the day.

On a brighter note, and the latest debate in the house? More chickens. Our neighbors keep requesting more eggs, so adding a few more feathered ladies to the backyard makes sense—but Daniel and Will still need to work their magic to convince Caleb. Stay tuned for that one. 😂

Thanks for hanging with us for another update—we love sharing our everyday chaos with you all!